NUMBER ONE TIP FOR COUPLES?
Right out the gate, I always encourage couples to vow to one another that you will be the BEST YOU that you can be.
This means that you will make it a priority to take care of yourself; that you will NOT look to your partner to be your Parent, Savior, Life Coach, or anything else beyond what he or she already is. After all, that’s what you fell in love with!
It’s the polarity that keeps relationships (and the sex) HOT!
An easy practical way to make this a precedent is to create a couples schedule on a white board or in a joint electronic calendar (Check out the Avocado App).
First, schedule frequent couple time/ quality time with one another. Make sure you have at least a few minutes every day unplugged where you’re just reconnecting with one another. (If you’re having trouble carving out time, I recommend Bill Barren’s secret that I personally use and have had tremendous success with in my own business and family.)
Next include weekly or biweekly date nights. Think outside the box! This can also include coffee dates or lunch time hook ups.
Now pencil in time for yourself. This is vital! Whether you like to do yoga, or mountain bike, or read, or even play video games, you NEED to be nourishing the passions that you brought into this relationship.
Lastly, make time for friends and family as well. This can be done together or separately. So for example, you might have daily meditation or quiet time alone each morning, coffee snuggled up with your partner a few days a week before you leave for work, a date night every Friday, but also time spent with friends separately on Saturdays, and maybe a joint brunch with family on Sundays.
When you make this a habit, your partner is assured that he or she is important to you, it also lets him or her off the hook from being responsible as your only source of happiness, and it keeps you feeling nourished in all levels of being.
After all, no one likes a grumpy, worn out, or resentful partner!
So vow, to yourself and to your partner that you will commit to doing whatever it takes to continue being the wonderful being he or she can’t get enough of and I promise you that they will want to do the same.
If this still isn’t clicking, I recommend the following video clip. 😉
Tamara Powell, LMHC owns Arya Therapy Services, a Pensacola counseling and coaching practice. Specializing in love, sex, and identity issues, she works with clients across the globe to achieve the highest satisfaction in life. As a self-proclaimed purple sheep, rebel, and visionary, Tamara loves working outside the box so to speak. If you’d like to work with her online or in person, you may reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.