From an upcoming series “Tales from a Trapezoid”
The following is a preview of a spin off of my main business and writing arenas dedicated to my spiritual seekers…the ones who often feel like trapezoids in a world full of circles.
It’s a compilation of my own journey mixed with the blood, sweat, and tears of those who share my sacred space at ARYA.
Yes, we are ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY and that is what will change the world!
Today is a hard day. Doesn’t matter why.
The kind where the light feels assaulting. The bed a cocoon.
And yet life beckons. It doesn’t care what your heart is going through. Who hurt you, betrayed you, failed you, forgot you…It just says COME.
Pick yourself up. Gather the pieces of your soul and arrange them as best you can so you can open back up to a world who likely has no f’ing clue. Not that you can blame them. Or can you??
Wait…is it that I am supposed to be vulnerable and wear my pain on my face? Or am I supposed to be “strong,” whatever the f%$ that is? Both? They say both right? Where’s the f’ing instruction manual for that??
So tired of gurus telling me to just breathe and feel my edges. They hurt. And quite frankly, most of their edges are showing too and it’s almost as if they’ve found a way to monetize talking about mine without confronting their own.
Hello projected holographic egos!
So maybe some inspirational reading material? Hmm…Scripture? No…too tainted with others’ commentary…What about one of the “greats”?? Brene Brown perhaps. Nah, f$% her and her marble jars of vulnerability.
Need something EDGIER.
Someone who gets it. Who won’t placate. But who won’t try and pull me out either.
Why can’t we all be just a little more honest? A little more raw. That’s it – RAW.
“What’s wrong with us that we wait until we’re dying or old to be honest?
Why did we leap from the innocence of childhood into the thicket of adulthood in which we lie and hide our true selves – and never find our way back to what’s important until we have so little time to live what’s true?
Life is tapping us on the forehead now saying, “…wake up! Live me now.
I’m right here. Right now.” (Jacob Nordby)
So this is me getting up. Showing up. Not because I feel like it or I’m inspired to. But because I NEED to. Because even if I have to crawl over shards of memories past and the fire of my own emotive inferno that scares me, let alone you, I’m NOT DONE.
Don’t think for a second that my taking a few g’damn moments to myself, and being honest about it, means I’m done!
Go ahead life. Place another chalk mark on your side of the scoreboard. I’m coming. After I wipe the dirt and grime off my soul and my face, I’ll meet you with a fierceness that you haven’t even dreamed of. And I’m bringing a whole new tribe of EDGY WARRIORS with me.
Download the PDF here: She Let Go.
Tamara Powell, LMHC is the founder of Arya Therapy Services, a Pensacola based counseling and coaching practice that also offers services ONLINE. She is the resident “identity guru” with specialties in gender, sexual, erotic, and relational diversity (GSERD). If you’re interested in working with her, please feel free to email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org